WHEN GOD MADE A WV STATE TROOPER
When the Lord was creating West Virginia State Troopers, he was on his sixth day of overtime. An Angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around with this one." The Lord said, "Have you read the requirements for this one yet? They have to be able to run five miles through alleys in the dark, scale six foot fences, enter homes the Health Inspector would not enter, and do it all without wrinkling their uniform. They must be able to sit in an undercover car all day on stakeouts, cover homicide scenes that night, canvas the neighborhood for witnesses, and testify in court the next day. They must run on black coffee and half-eaten meals and little sleep while remaining in top physical shape. They need six pairs of hands and three sets of eyes." "No way," said the Angel "Three sets of eyes?" "Yes," said the Lord. "One to see that bulge in a pocket before they ask, May I see what is in there, sir...When they already know and wish they had taken that accounting job. A second pair on the side of their head to watch their partner and another pair in front to look into the eyes of an accident victim and say...You'll be OK...when they know they won't."
"Lord, said the Angel, "You had better rest and work on this one tomorrow." The Lord replied, "I can't. I already have a model that can take a two-hundred and fifty pound drunk in their patrol cruiser without incident and feed a family of four on a trooper's pay check."
The Angel circled the model and said, "Can it think, Lord?" The Lord said, "You bet and it can tell the elements of more than two-hundred and fifty crimes, recite Miranda warnings in their sleep, detain, investigate, search and arrest gang members on the streets in less time than it takes for a learned judge to debate the legality of the stop...and it still has a sense of humor. It can deal with crime scenes painted in hell, coax a confession from a child abuser, comfort a murder victim's family, remove drugs from their community and then still read that Troopers are not sensitive to the needs and rights of criminals."
Finally, the Angel bent over and ran her finger over the cheek of the Trooper. "There Lord, there is a leak. I told you to rest." The Lord replied, "That is not a leak, it is a tear." The Angel asked, "What is the tear for Lord?" The Lord said, "The tear is for bottled up emotions, for fallen comrades, for lost loved ones, and for broken families. It is for the piece of cloth known as the American flag and the West Virginia State Police patch...It is for justice. The Angel replied, "You are a genius, Lord. The Tear is a wonderful touch." The Lord looked at the Angel somberly and said, "I know, but I did not put it there."
